Hi Sarah - thanks for reading and reaching out. I am so glad the essay made you feel less alone as the experience of divorce was truly one of the loneliest, saddest and scariest times of my life and knowing my words could help anyone is so lovely. What I can tell you after another two years and an official divorce is that I continue to heal and find peace. This does not mean I don’t still think about it all the time or wonder if I made the right decision. But it doesn’t torture me anymore, it’s more like a vague wonder that passes thru my mind periodically and then is gone again. My ex and I get along so much better now and enjoy each other so much more (we are still together often with the kids) that I wonder, could we have made it? But then he says or does something that is such a trigger for me and I think, how amazing that is not part of my life anymore. I still find it hard to share custody of our youngest; I still cry thinking about the homes I loved so much that are no longer mine. But all in all I feel the ground solidly beneath me again. I’ve been dating someone for five years but it’s very much on my own terms, I have a job, a new house, great relationships with all three of my kids. There is happiness on the other side of divorce that I wouldn’t have imagined possible - not an ecstatic kind of happiness, more just an acceptance of where I am now and an appreciation that I am ok. I hope this encourages you in some way. Getting divorced is such an intense grieving process - but just keep working your way through, I promise it gets better.