I stayed home with my three kids (who were born over an 11 year span). I tried working for a while - had one kid in day care, one at home with a babysitter, and managed to skulk into the office a few days a week, the rest of the time “working” from home. Nap time was my work day. It was exhausting and fell short of providing anything meaningful to any of us - my career languished, my time with my kids was spent waiting for nap time. My husband always said, this is your job so don’t ask me for help, I don’t ask you to come help me at my job. He resented my asking for help or even acknowledgement. After 27 years together he had an affair and now I’m a single mom - two of the kids are in college and the 11yo is still home with me. My ex has been adamant since our split that I get a job! A REAL job! I want one, but he won’t acknowledge that 20 years out of the field has set me back. We stay home moms have it hard - we work round the clock doing the world’s most important job and are then condescended to by a society that values work that has money attached to it and sometimes by unappreciative spouses. But I have a lot to show for my work even if it’s not a sizable bank account: three healthy, compassionate, resilient children.