Thanks for sharing this - I love the element of humor you throw in here and there as the subject matter is very deep and intense. This was extremely well written and I relate to much of it albeit through a different lens. I have many adopted friends, some of whom found their birth families and some who adamantly will not; when I discovered that my father was a sperm donor I HAD to know who he was and I found him. The ambivalence you express in pondering possible outcomes can remain even when you actually find the parent in question - there are facts and then all the nuances that lie between that can feel unknowable. I know and I don’t know - I am learning to live with that. There is no right answer, just what we need to know to feel complete, whatever that looks like for each of us individually. Thanks for sharing - truly a wonderful piece.