This is a moving and very honest piece. I appreciate your willingness to be so vulnerable. I wanted kids from a very early age and had three of them; I have many friends who didn’t have kids, some by choice and some because of circumstances. In midlife, we are all coming to terms with a myriad of decisions we’ve made, including having kids or not. Parenting only gets harder as the kids become adults and some friends feel they are not equipped and shouldn’t have done it. Others can’t imagine their lives any other way. No woman should have to justify her decision not to have kids. As a society, we have to do better than expecting women to follow the script of marriage and kids…your explanations are poignant and articulate, but at the same time, you shouldn’t have to explain. Wishing you peace in your travels and healing.