This is so beautiful and moved me to tears. I struggle with many of these same issues of feeling the need to suppress my biological identity as the child of a sperm donor. My mother does not want to hear about the family I found or the tenuous relationship I have built with them. It feels personal to her, but as you say it’s not one family or the other, we are a sum total. It’s very moving that your mother came around and helped give you not necessarily closure but the feeling that all your worlds/families could comfortably coexist.