This is such a fraught subject and you're so right that there is no right or wrong answer if we are fortunate enough to be in the position to get to decide! I decided 18 years ago to stay home, and I loved most of my time at home. You're right too that you have to think about who you're doing it for so as to avoid later regret and resentment. When my marriage ended and I realized my ex's career and business were solely his but the family was ours, the issue of what I would have done differently had I been able to see the demise of my marriage continues to linger for me. We at once gain and lose so much by being home, there's no easy fix to it.