Reflections on Identity
Midlife Sex Is the Best Sex
Overcoming shame and guilt to embrace sexuality in midlife
One of the biggest surprises to me in the annals of “I didn’t see that coming” is how fiercely I own and celebrate my sexuality in midlife.
I am not alone. According to HealthDay News, women in midlife feel more confident and empowered when it comes to sex and thus report higher levels of satisfaction. Gynecologist Susan Hardwick-Smith writes in her book Sexually Woke that up to one in five women in midlife report feeling fulfilled sexually, a number that may seem discouraging but that she says negates the common trope about how our changing hormones and bodies make sexual satisfaction impossible after we hit a certain age.
My sex life at fifty-one is the best it’s ever been, mostly because I have been able to discard the negative emotions I associated with sex from the very first time I became sexually active.
My best friend and I were hellbent on losing our virginity the summer before we started our senior year of high school. We can’t be virgins anymore, it’s embarrassing, we said as we watched other girls parade around with a swagger that made us feel we would forever be confined to pastel childhood bedrooms with Raggedy Ann dolls.
