Reflections on Identity
How Divorce Agreements Hurt Women
Is it fair that my ex-husband is allowed to move on in ways that I cannot?
My divorce papers have been signed and I’m mostly fine with them. The injustice of it all enraged and wounded me during the negotiations, but it’s done now and I feel free — not so much free from my ex-husband, as I already felt disconnected before the papers were signed, but free from the brutality of the divorce process. Am I thrilled? Definitely not. Satisfied? Meh.
What I feel most of all is resigned. To get to the finish line, I had to accept that I would never get as much money as I felt I was entitled to, and he had to accept that he would have to pay more than he felt was fair. At some point, I reflected on the state of my sanity and decided enough was enough and I suppose he did too — that, and the hard, cold reality of mounting legal fees. We paid a dear price for our divorce, with money but also with the fury we lobbed at each other. That’s over now.
There’s this one little detail that rankles me though, and try as I might, I can’t seem to shake it: the clause that addresses my potential remarriage or cohabitation.
When I first read it, my head reared back. It was so antiquated that I was certain my husband would…
